Monday, May 16, 2011


There is a lot on my mind today.
Most of all life in general...yep its gonna be one of "those" post...

As much as I probably deserve to gloat about this one...I just can't bring myself to do it.  When someone does you wrong, the first thing you think is how it will come back to bite them in the a**.  And yes, it usually does.  It may be months or years later and sometimes you may not even know when it happens.  But it happens. 

Well, you all know my background story by now.  If not, you can find it here and here.  But the Reader's Digest version goes something like this....boyfriend of three plus years turns out to be cheating loser who (very quickly) ends ups with new girlfriend who happens to be a member of the gym we both work at and have to see everyday.  Well, ladies and gentlemen... let the a** biting begin.  Last week I found out that not only had ex-boyfriend and new girlfriend broken up, but new girlfriend already has a new boyfriend.  This would be Karma enough right?  Wrong.  New girlfriend's new boyfriend just happens to be someone else that is involved in the gym.  And by involved I mean managing partner and coach.  And word around the watering hole is that he was the reason for her and ex-boyfriends break up.  No, I'm not kidding.  I'm one hundred percent for realz. 

I can't help but think of how crazy life is when things like this happen.  How strange is it, that the exact same thing he did to me, happened to him??  Seriously, the EXACT same.  Maybe even worse, actually.  Part of me (a very small part) even feels kind of sorry for him.  Just because clearly, I can empathize.  I know exactly what he is going through right now...Thinking you would rather die than have to come to work.  Feeling like everyone is choosing sides, and not choosing yours.  The embarrassment.  Betrayal by the very people that should be the ones standing up for you.  The constant feeling that you are being talked about every time you walk into a room....Trust me, I get it.  I wish I could say that he deserves it but honestly, I don't think anyone does. Now is it a little more clear how toxic my work environment is?

I work for a company that I've come to realize is bound and determined to operate like a middle school.  These are all problems commonly found in middle schools.  The problem with that is middle schools make it through these issues because they are government funded and regardless of how disfunctional the environment is the people (i.e. middleschoolers) and money will still be there.  Small businesses, with small membership and small finances don't have this same luxury.  I will be surprised if this place is still here in a year if we allow these types of events to continue.

I've been thinking a lot about life and people and why things happen the way they do lately.  I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.  The hard part is finding the reason.

I'm not sure what leads people to act the way they do.  What was lacking in their upbringing?  In my opinion, there is no one scarier than the person who thinks their own happiness is more important than anyone else's.  They say that you can't help who you fall in love with.  Well, I disagree.  I believe that grown-ups can and should have complete control over this.  Falling in love with someone is not where the problem starts.  You have to know someone (and know them well) in order to fall in love with them. The problem starts when you allow yourself to be put in a position to get to know them well enough to fall in love with them.  Why even go on the first date if you know what the consequences will be? 

Life is a funny thing.  It has a way of really sneaking up on you.  Just when you think you are living your life and everything is going fine you get thrown a huge curve ball.  Very quickly yesterdays huge, life changing events become non-issues and pale in comparison to todays new huge, life changing events.  You think that you have every reason to feel sorry for yourself one day only to wake up the next morning and hear about a friend that is going through a devastating loss in their family.  And in an instant you can go from listing all the reasons why your life sucks to counting all the many blessings you have and all the reasons you are so lucky.


"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can.  And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."

1 comment:

Sole Matters said...

"In my opinion, there is no one scarier than the person who thinks their own happiness is more important than anyone else's." that is SO true. never heard that before. thinking of you!